It started around 11 p.m. At least, that’s when I noticed an incessant thudding that seemed to snake directly around the circumference of my New Bedroom. It started as a curious rapping in the closet and gradually progressed to full-on thumping in the vicinity Directly Above My Head.

This cannot being happening.

Not only was I already sleep-deprived, my left sinus was beginning to rebel against all that is Healthy And Normal, and so sleeping on that side was not an option. And with every rap, thud, thump, I felt my sinus pulse in sync. I looked across the room at an alarm clock I was sure would read 5 a.m., realizing it was 3 a.m. and I still had three hours of nonexistent REM to conjure up.

It didn’t happen. By 3:30 a.m., I’d gotten up to turn the air conditioner fan on HIGH! in a vague attempt to mute some of the ceiling drumming I’m convinced will go on all through winter because, hi, apparently we have a high-functioning radiator with an attitude that dwells in these walls.

Welcome to The New Apartment, I imagine it taunting me. Aren’t you glaaad you moved here?

Highly.

(Did I mention I need sleep?)

(But on a positive note, I now have a couch. A big one. You should see it. And you would, if I had a computer at home to upload photos. [Sigh])