Two years ago, a good friend broke up with her boyfriend. It was probably justified. Being around them, I’d seen a million times the way he overreacted, blew up at her and [in my anonymous private opinion, childishly] sent her texts with language that would make Grandma blush.

And did I mention he twice kicked her out of his Jeep in the middle of the night? Yep, on lonely city streets in [City A] that were not in a great part of town.

When this friend called upset? I was there for her – despite the fact that her boyfriend happened to be my (now ex) boyfriend’s brother. And when she made an attempt to move on for three months, to embrace being single and not sit home simply dwelling on her misery (is this sounding At All Familiar?)? I urged her to ignore the unfounded, spiteful rumors people circulated around the downtown scene about her “newfound promiscuity” (um, she’s just not like that).

So when I go through virtually the same thing two years later? I fully do not expect the Facebook message I get, where following “hey! Merry Christmas!” my head’s on the chopping block and a best friend is suddenly passing judgment. Saying things like “I just can’ t believe you’d move on so fast,” “I’ve been hearing rumors” and “I never thought you were like this.”

Excuse me?

One, I don’t do well being judged. I mean, all humanness aside, I consider myself a decently level-headed, grounded girl (my parents raised me right, I suppose) capable of weighing the pros and cons of a situation and ultimately making the right decision for me. Granted, I feel bad when one of my decisions inadvertently hurts a fellow human being – even one who I spent years being unhappy with – but does it mean people ought to tip-toe around their exes? make sure they’re fine and ready to move on themselves before we take the plunge?

I feel deflated. For whatever reason, the message left me like a scolded child ashamed at being caught doing something slimy. Is the fact that I decided to move on with someone (a person who blew into my life unexpectedly and subsequently Blew Me Away) three months after ending a 5-year relationship grounds for a friend to tell me “what you did isn’t right”?

I’m all for people having a right to their opinions. (This is America, isn’t it?) But it sort of makes me want to scream where do you get off… in her general direction, especially considering the aforementioned history here.

*Sigh*

I, being the Must Confront The Problem Immediately person I am, threw back a note with five long paragraphs of my own. All of which probably did not do justice to what I really wanted to convey – that meeting D was unanticipated, that when someone like that walks into your life how can you let them go because other people might think It’s Too Soon? and that if she’s my friend, a call would’ve been appreciated versus a You’re A Horrible Person Email on the heels of a month not hearing from her.

She called during D’s basketball game last night. With him standing next to me, I felt uncomfortable hashing things out. I promised to call her today.

Must. Gather. Thoughts.