I love when I log into my online social network sites and those two words flash beneath my profile picture in bold red font. I always play the guessing game, trying to remember if I just “friend requested” someone or wrote to anyone recently that warranted reply.

This morning when I logged in, those two words greeted me. But I hadn’t really used this site much lately, so I wasn’t expecting the picture in my inbox.

I’m not sure I ever posted about the “element” that finally pushed me to break up with The Ex. But, needless to say, it’s a long story that can be summed up by saying, I rekindled a friendship with my first kiss, who through an infectiously fun personality and many long phone calls made me realize there was “better” out there.

OK, so I was maybe back then hoping something might happen with said First Kiss. But our common situations became less similar when he went back to his girlfriend (moved in with her again) and I stuck my ground. I was clearly disappointed.

You have these romantic notions flying through your head like, “what if he was my last kiss too?” And it was a slap in the face when he suddenly stopped calling. We’ve since swapped emails, every few weeks or month or so, but nothing resembling the close friendship I thought we’d built.

So today I get a message. “hey there” the subject reads.

The email:

“hey [MIG],

we finally did it!!! i moved out yesterday and i am living with [a friend and his wife]. how hard it is i give you a lot of credit.
i hope all is well talk to you soon!”

[First Kiss]

I was hesitant about replying. Do “friends” who pull a duck-out deserve another chance? Sigh. I followed up with genuine surprise and supportive good-for-you type email, saying he could write or call if he needed a friend, to which he promptly responded:

“…that’s why i wrote, just thought i would let you know that. it was really hard and again i just wanted to see how you kind of got over your situation.

i think hanging out with my friends is helping a lot…then again it’s only been a couple of days.”

It’s sort of like, thanks. You “need” me to help you get through this. Maybe I’m too nice, because it’s hard to not want to help your friends, but there’s the smallest part of me that still carries a chip on my shoulder. That once he didn’t “need” me anymore last fall, I metaphorically dropped to the bottom of his friends list.

Hm.